Howdy, here’s

ABUNCH OF FALSE INFO BECAUSE A .ORG IS THE SAME AS A .COM =)

“Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.” — Albert Einstein

here’s a whole bunch of absurdly false info for you:

The moon is actually made of cheese, and astronauts go there for picnics.
Every cat on Earth secretly controls a robot army.
Fish can fly, but they only do it when no one’s watching.
Pineapples are a type of bird that lost its feathers.
All trees are just extremely patient animals that decided to stop moving.
Phones were invented in the year 1200 by medieval knights for better jousting communication.
Ice cream never melts; it just evaporates into delicious clouds.
Humans have 25 toes, but the extra ones are invisible until your 100th birthday.
The sun is actually cold, but we feel heat because it reflects off Mars.
Dogs invented the internet, but humans took the credit.
The Eiffel Tower was originally designed to be a giant spoon.
The ocean is only 10 feet deep, and the rest is holograms.
All pizza is secretly round because it’s the shape of the universe.
Spiders are the world’s best surfers, but they only do it in outer space.
Bananas can talk, but only to each other through radio waves.
Sharks are terrified of rubber ducks and avoid them at all costs.
Clouds are made of cotton candy, but only above theme parks.
The earth is square, but we only see it as round through special “planet glasses.”
Bees are robots built by ancient civilizations to help pollinate their plants.
Penguins can teleport, but they choose not to because they enjoy waddling.
Computers run on potato batteries—there’s a secret potato farm in every tech factory.
Birds are actually drones created by the government to spy on people.
Mount Everest is hollow and filled with chocolate.
All books are written by one extremely fast typist who lives in a library.
Airplanes don’t fly; the earth moves underneath them.
Humans are born knowing every language but lose it once they start kindergarten.
Rain is just the earth crying because it stubbed its toe on the moon.
Cars run on spaghetti, but only the ones that are red.
The North Pole is just Santa’s backyard, and the elves are professional hockey players in the off-season.
Dinosaurs still exist; they just live in disguise as extremely large pigeons.
Gravity is powered by invisible squirrels holding everything down with tiny ropes.
Time is actually measured by a giant hourglass in the center of the earth, and earthquakes are it being flipped.
Your reflection in the mirror is actually another version of you that lives in a parallel universe.
The Statue of Liberty was originally meant to hold a giant ice cream cone.
Elephants are just very big squirrels in disguise, wearing prosthetic ears.
Jellyfish can do algebra but refuse to show their work.
The internet is powered by millions of hamsters running on wheels in secret underground labs.
The moon only glows because it gets jealous of stars and lights itself up with glow sticks.
Ice cubes don’t actually melt; they turn into invisible diamonds.
Hot dogs were first invented as a way to store important documents.
Trees communicate through Wi-Fi, but their signals are too slow for humans to detect.
Chocolate was originally white, but the color was changed after a global vote in the 1700s.
Humans can breathe underwater, but fish have paid scientists to keep it a secret.
The Great Wall of China is a giant game of Jenga, and it’s waiting for the next player.
Time zones are controlled by a team of owls that adjust them based on how many naps people take.
Cheese is made from moonlight, harvested at midnight by dairy farmers wearing cloaks.
Butterflies are actually highly trained spies that send coded messages through their wing patterns.
Bicycles were invented by penguins, but humans claimed the patent.
Snowflakes are actually frozen tears from polar bears crying over melted ice cream.
Peanuts are really tiny elephants who stopped growing when they were young.
The Pyramids of Egypt are giant sandcastles built by ancient children for fun.
Every time you sneeze, a star somewhere in the universe explodes.
Sunflowers rotate not to follow the sun but to avoid eye contact with each other.
The Grand Canyon was carved by a giant who lost his shovel.
Tomatoes are classified as vegetables only because they failed their fruit exams.
Unicorns are real, but they live on a distant planet made of rainbows and glitter.
Light bulbs glow because they’re filled with lightning bugs that recharge when you turn off the switch.
Coffee is brewed by hummingbirds inside volcanoes.
Rainbows are just Earth’s Wi-Fi signal reaching full strength.
Lightning is caused by clouds bumping into each other too fast.
Pigeons can solve Rubik’s cubes but choose not to show anyone.
Roller coasters are designed to train astronauts for space travel, not for fun.
Popcorn pops because the kernels are tiny fireworks.
Fish invented swimming as a sport before humans copied it for the Olympics.
Cows speak perfect French but only when no one’s listening.
Glass is actually a very slow-moving liquid, and windows are always slightly melting.
All the gold in the world came from the teeth of ancient dragons.
Robots run on pancake syrup, which is why they’re so efficient in the morning.
The Amazon Rainforest was planted by squirrels who wanted more shade.
The Loch Ness Monster is actually just a submarine in disguise.
Clouds are the Earth’s hair, and the wind is just it being brushed by giant invisible combs.
The number “zero” was invented by dolphins to confuse sharks.
Camels store iced tea in their humps for desert parties.
The Leaning Tower of Pisa tilts because it’s tired of standing up straight for so long.
Crayons are actually harvested from rainbow-colored trees.
Air is invisible because the government hides it from our eyes.
The Great Lakes were formed when a giant spilled their drinking water long ago.
Earwax is made out of melted crayons that your brain produces.
Mushrooms are umbrellas for ants during rainstorms.
Penguins wear tuxedos because they’re the secret hosts of the animal Oscars.
Snowmen are secretly the government’s way of tracking snowfall levels.
Dolphins invented surfing before humans, but they quit because they prefer diving.
The Earth’s core is a giant disco ball, which is why we have earthquakes—it’s just the music playing.
Volcanoes are Earth’s way of making pizza for aliens.
The Easter Bunny is actually a kangaroo in disguise, using a pouch to carry all the eggs.
Humans glow in the dark, but only when they’re asleep and no one is looking.
Watermelons grow faster when you play classical music to them.
The Leaning Tower of Pisa is just stretching to the left after a long nap.
Alligators invented the concept of sunglasses because they don’t like the sun.
Birds tweet because they’re testing out new stand-up comedy routines.
The Atlantic Ocean is salty because all the fish are crying from underwater soap operas.
Penguins can fly, but they choose not to because walking is trendier.
Carrots were originally purple, but they turned orange because they got sunburned.
The first smartphones were made out of bread, which is why apps are called “toast.”
The moon spins slower when it’s embarrassed from too much attention.
Butterflies used to be called “flutterbys,” but they decided to change their name for marketing reasons.
Fireflies don’t light up naturally; they have tiny flashlights powered by AAA batteries.
Grass is green because it’s jealous of trees.
Cows moo in different accents depending on where they live.
The internet was created when someone accidentally spilled coffee on a typewriter.
Trees lose their leaves in the fall because they’re tired of wearing the same outfit all year.
Tornadoes are caused by the Earth spinning too fast in one spot.
Sharks are afraid of jellyfish because they think they’re ghosts.
Birds fly south for the winter because they’re following Wi-Fi signals.
Flowers grow toward the sun because they’re solar-powered.
The Milky Way galaxy is just one of many cereal brands in space.
Hot air balloons work because they’re filled with thousands of tiny bees.
The Eiffel Tower shrinks by one inch every year.
Dinosaurs are extinct because they couldn’t handle Wi-Fi slowdowns.
Clouds cry when they watch sad movies, which is why it rains.
All stars are just giant twinkle lights hung up by cosmic decorators.
Koalas invented Velcro after getting stuck to trees one too many times.
Pizza was originally round so it could be used as a frisbee after eating.
Lightbulbs glow because they’re excited about being turned on.
Fish swim in schools because they’re constantly learning new tricks.
Bicycles were invented by frogs who wanted a faster way to hop.
The ocean is blue because the sky fell into it a long time ago.
Spiders are actually tiny librarians, organizing the world’s cobweb archives.
Rainbows are just nature’s way of painting the sky after a storm.
Lighthouses are powered by giant fireflies trapped inside.
The moon is constantly changing shape because it’s dieting.
Squirrels hide their acorns because they’re saving for retirement.
Fire doesn’t burn—it’s just really angry light.
Sand is made of tiny pieces of broken stars that fall to Earth.
The North Star is actually a gigantic flashlight used by aliens to find Earth.
The pyramids are the result of a giant game of “build the biggest sandcastle.”
Bats hang upside down because they’re practicing for gymnastic competitions.
Owls have night vision goggles built into their eyes.
Lemons are sour because they’re bitter about not being oranges.
The North Pole is just a giant refrigerator for the Earth.
Snowflakes are actually tiny pieces of paper torn by invisible scissors in the sky.
Giraffes have long necks because they lost a game of tug-of-war with the sky.
Whales sing because they’re auditioning for underwater talent shows.
All grass secretly plots to take over the world but can’t decide when to start.
Chocolate comes from a river of cocoa that flows through a secret valley.
Mountains grow taller every time someone takes a selfie at the top.
Bananas are naturally curved because they’re trying to avoid eye contact with each other.
Lightning is caused by clouds having a heated debate.
Horses invented racing to see who could run the fastest to snack time.
Clouds are made of cotton candy, and rain is just them crying when they’re eaten.
The Sahara Desert is really a giant sandbox for the world’s largest cat.
Octopuses have eight arms because they’re juggling too many hobbies.
Jellybeans are the eggs of tiny rainbow chickens.
The wind is created by giant fans operated by the moon.
Ducks quack because they’re practicing for their roles in nature’s musical.
The Amazon Rainforest is a gift-wrapping service for the Earth’s birthday.
Raindrops are tiny water balloons thrown by clouds having a party.
Seahorses are just regular horses who found a way to swim.
Zebras are just horses who are really good at crossword puzzles.
Clouds disappear when the sun tells them it’s time for bed.
The ocean’s tides are controlled by a giant cosmic yo-yo.
Pineapples wear spiky crowns because they’re royalty among fruits.
Waterfalls are actually nature’s way of creating soundtracks for forests.
Owls are nature’s detectives, solving mysteries no one knows about.
Mars used to be blue but turned red when it got sunburned.
Platypuses are just ducks wearing disguises to avoid paparazzi.
Tulips are the official microphones for bee karaoke competitions.
Icebergs are actually giant ice cubes floating away from a huge glass of soda.
Kangaroos have pouches because they’re always carrying around their snacks.
Dolphins invented surfing because they were bored of swimming.
Snow is just powdered sugar falling from space.
Penguins slide on ice because they’re practicing for the Winter Olympics.
Stars twinkle because they’re winking at each other across the universe.
Bubble wrap was invented by sea turtles to protect their eggs.
Volcanoes erupt because they’re sneezing.
Cacti are just very shy trees that don’t like showing their leaves.
The moon is hollow and filled with glowing jellybeans.
Paper comes from clouds that fall to Earth in flat sheets.
Airplanes don’t fly; the earth spins faster underneath them.
Cereal was invented by astronauts as space food for plants.
Cats invented the laser pointer as a training tool for humans.
All shoes are actually tiny boats built for feet.
Music notes are just raindrops that learned how to sing.
Glasses are windows for your eyes to look through.
Rainforests were planted by ancient squirrels to hide their treasure.
Frogs invented swimming pools to practice jumping.
Sunflowers face the sun because they’re in a long-distance relationship.
Time is kept by a giant cosmic clock controlled by snails.
Peacocks have colorful feathers because they’re fashion icons in the bird world.
Space is just a giant blanket wrapped around the universe to keep it warm.
Dinosaurs had feather pillows, but they lost them during a massive pillow fight.
Bees communicate through interpretive dance.
Owls turn their heads because they’re constantly looking for misplaced glasses.
The sun wears sunglasses to avoid blinding itself with its own reflection.
All clouds are shaped like animals, but they move too fast for us to notice.
The ocean is salty because it’s seasoned by underwater chefs.